Frustration Tolerance

By Rolo B. Cena
Dumaguete Star Informer
24 January 2010


Let me hire, train and develop people and I can do it with gusto. But to terminate an employee is something I just can’t do with ease. And this is one thing I hate in HR works. Believe me!

Under the laws of the Kingdom, “If the worker is absent without reason for more than twenty days during one year or more than ten successive days, dismissal should be preceded by a written warning from the employer after the absence of ten days in the first case and his discontinuation for five days in the second case.” (Provision 7, Article 80, Section 3, KSA Labor Law).

Lately, one labor case was raised to my office for immediate action. Upon presentation of the facts and review of his 201 file, I upheld the recommendation of his immediate superiors to terminate on the basis of the aforementioned provision. Completely by documentary and physical evidences, our fellow “kabayan” did violate this law and is guilty of insubordination at the same time, matter which I can’t help.

Before serving the notice of disengagement, I visited this guy in the labor camp and had an exhaustive dialogue with him. This termination is the third of its form already; had two attempts earlier. Raising the inquiry on the reason why was he absent again, his response was this: homesick! Our dialogue lasted for about an hour and my patience was almost depleted.

Homesickness is the longing to be with, as in with someone, family or home. This can be influenced by a lot of factors, frustration and boredom included. This is the most common reason why expatriates usually abort their employment midway of the contract period. Even a psychologically balanced individual can experience homesickness for a brief moment. However, this type of person usually adapts to situation maturely quickly than others whose frustration tolerance is below minimum.

Frustration tolerance is the level of our flexibility to situations which are totally frustrating to our being human being or to our normal senses. All living things have frustration tolerance. When situation occurs, we usually employ defense mechanisms as one coping mechanism to address the situation. While we have a lot of defense mechanisms, the best so far that migrantes can employ is sublimation.

Sublimation is simply the channeling of unacceptable impulses, thoughts and emotions into more acceptable ones. For instance, when a person has sexual impulses he would like not to act upon, he may instead focus on rigorous exercise (as in gym work out), indulge into sports, spend overtime work, or walk out and socialize. Sublimation is a mature form of defense mechanism that is often practiced by persons whose outlook in life usually brings them to proper perspective.

Frederic, the employee we recently terminated for violation the specific provision of the Labor Law of the Kingdom, has claimed he has been affected by this nostalgic feeling of homesickness. In our dialogue, he confirmed that he just stayed in his room and think about his wife and his only child. He is thirty-five years old, an age everybody would believe an age in the level of balanced maturity. The way I look at it, he has only matured by age not by wisdom that thinking about this kind of defense mechanism is next to impossible.

Sensibly, Frederic could have diverted his attention by engaging into rigorous exercises when facilities are just available in the area, played basketball when he is a player and the court is right within the camp, has reported for work and spend overtime when his absence was the root cause of all, or walked out of his room and talked to people in the hall.

Severe frustration, which as I have said can contribute much, can adversely affect one’s mental activities negatively. In some cases, when the frustration tolerance of an individual is low, he may resort to self pity or other forms of primitive defenses.

Truly, if the frustration tolerance of an individual is extremely low and his coping mechanism extremely slow, chances are, the ultimate end is suicide or brain damage. In his case, he is almost into this level: his co-workers, especially his roommate is already afraid of his behavior. He talks to himself, walks around the room, eats a lot, drinks fluids a lot – a behavior I have observed to a mentally ill employee I had before.

Proven effective personally, sublimation has been my mechanism to combat homesickness, frustration or even sexual urges that need not be acted upon: I play tennis two to three times a week, badminton once or twice a week, bowling once a week, jogging during weekends, daily writing exercise for my articles and columns and a regular socialization with friends and acquaintances. Lately, my wife and my kids agreed to have a synchronized prayer time (7:00 am KSA & 12:00 noon RP time) and my wife and I pray the Rosary via Skype at six in the evening KSA time.

Arguably, psychological wellness is something one must be extra sensibly careful about. The moment one does not achieve this, expect the reverse and the adverse scenario.

But then again, one must review or evaluate his frustration tolerance before things are blown out of proportion. Putting things into proper perspective can be a better prelude to any major course of action.

Be sensibly normal, dear!